Disrespect will close doors that apologies can’t reopen. Always remember that
– Avery Johnson
Avery Johnson learned through years of leadership that respect is the foundation of influence. “Disrespect will close doors that apologies can’t reopen. Always remember that,” Johnson declared. Coaches teach that leadership isn’t just about being vocal or stepping up—it’s about earning respect through how you treat teammates, coaches, and the game itself. The leadership advice your coach gives about communication, accountability, and team culture only works if you’ve built respect first. Disrespect destroys your ability to lead, and no apology can fix it.
Coaches emphasize respect because they know leadership without it is empty noise. When your coach advises you to hold teammates accountable, that only works if they respect you. When your coach tells you to communicate on defense, your words only matter if teammates respect your effort. When your coach asks you to step up in crucial moments, the team only follows if you’ve earned respect through consistent character. Johnson’s warning applies: one disrespectful moment toward a teammate, coach, or opponent can close leadership doors permanently.
The advice coaches give about leadership—be vocal, hold others accountable, elevate everyone—requires a foundation of respect that you build through daily actions. Coaches watch how you treat bench players, how you respond to correction, how you handle losing, and how you celebrate teammates’ success. These actions either build respect or destroy it, and your coach’s leadership advice can only be effective if you’ve done the respect work first.
Young players often focus on the visible aspects of leadership—talking loudly, taking big shots, directing others—while ignoring their coach’s advice about the character foundation. They disrespect teammates through selfishness, disrespect coaches by ignoring instruction, or disrespect opponents through poor sportsmanship. Then they wonder why their attempts at leadership fail. Coaches know: disrespect closes doors that no amount of apology, talent, or effort can reopen.
Your coach’s advice about being a leader starts with respect. How you carry yourself, treat others, and honor the game determines whether anyone will follow your leadership. Disrespect ends your influence permanently.
Reflection Questions for Young Athletes
- What does your coach teach about showing respect that you need to start doing consistently?
- What does your coach emphasize about respect that you’re not fully practicing?
- What respectful behavior could you add to your routine that would make you a better leader according to your coach?
- Is your current behavior building the respect foundation your coach says leadership requires?
Physical and Mental Exercises to Improve Leadership
Physical Exercises
- Respect Actions Drill (2-3 players): Coach identifies respect-building behaviors (encouraging bench players, helping opponents up, accepting criticism positively, celebrating others). Practice these deliberately during scrimmages. Coaches know leadership starts with respect earned through consistent character actions.
- Accountability with Respect (2 players): Coach teaches how to hold teammates accountable respectfully (specific, private, solution-focused). Practice giving feedback to partner. Coaches advise that accountability without respect creates resentment—with respect, it creates improvement.
- Sideline Leadership (2-3 players): When not playing, practice respectful engagement: encouraging starters, staying positive, supporting coach’s decisions publicly. Coach evaluates. They teach that how you act when you’re not playing reveals your character and builds or destroys respect.
- Opponent Respect Practice (2-3 players): During competitive drills, practice helping opponents up, acknowledging good plays, shaking hands after. Feels unnecessary but coaches know respecting opponents while competing hard shows character that earns teammates’ and coaches’ respect.
- Coach’s Correction Response (2-3 players): When coach corrects you during drills, practice responding with “Yes coach” and immediate adjustment. No excuses, no body language. Coaches teach that how you receive coaching reveals respect and determines whether they invest more in developing your leadership.
Mental Exercises
- Respect Audit with Coach (solo): Ask coach honestly: “Do I show respect consistently to teammates, opponents, and you? What do I need to change?” Their answer reveals whether you’ve built the foundation their leadership advice requires. Brutal honesty from coach prevents closed doors.
- Apology Assessment (solo): List anyone you’ve disrespected this season (teammate, coach, ref, opponent). Understand Johnson’s truth: apologizing might not reopen that door. Write what you’ll do differently going forward. Coaches teach that prevention through respect beats apology after disrespect.
- Daily Respect Commitment (solo): Each morning, identify one person you’ll show respect to today through specific action (encourage bench player, thank coach, help struggling teammate). Track it for a week. Coaches advise that respect is built through small daily actions, not occasional grand gestures.
- Leadership Permission Check (solo): Reflect honestly: Have you earned the right to lead through respectful behavior, or are you trying to lead without the foundation? Compare your self-assessment to coach’s view. Gap between them shows self-awareness needed for growth.
The Champion’s Mindset
Avery Johnson’s championship experience taught him that respect is the currency of leadership—and disrespect bankrupts you permanently. Your coach’s advice about leadership—communicate purposefully, elevate teammates, step up in crucial moments—only works if you’ve earned respect through consistent, respectful behavior. One moment of disrespect toward a teammate can close their willingness to follow you. One moment of disrespect toward your coach can close their willingness to invest in your development. One moment of disrespect toward an opponent can close your team’s respect for your character. Apologies don’t reopen these doors. Your coach teaches that leadership starts with respect earned through how you treat everyone, every day, especially when it’s hard. Be the difference by building the foundation first. Show respect constantly. Lead from earned influence, not assumed authority.